The Dettol "No-Touch Hand Wash System" Grrrr....

*Cherry pops* Wow, I actually feel different after typing my first few words. Anyhoo...so this blog is basically going to be me ranting about what some may consider to be minor irritations, but to me are the true banes of my existence. First on the agenda, the most illogical, completely unnecessary invention of the past year, the Dettol patented "No-Touch Hand Wash System".

This abomination claims that the pumps on all soap dispensers harbour millions of bacteria and transfer onto your hand every time you use said soap dispenser. I recently wandered into Tesco for a browse as one does when they're bored, (Tesco is usually the source of all my rants, it's a complicated relationship that we have) and saw a stand with only four of these machines left and this stand must have been able to hold at least 50 of them. There is only one thing that the people of Dettol must assume that we ordinary folk do with these trodden, outdated and disgusting soap pumps.

 Now folks, get ready to have your minds blown and realise the depth of this cruel conspiracy....Whenever we actually use a soap dispenser what do we usually do? We put soap into our hands, make some soapy suds with the divine combination of soap and water and wash our hands. What does this do? The soap eliminates the millions of bacteria present on your hands. And here's the kicker everybody, Dettol claims it's soap kills 99.9% of all bacteria! So according to Dettol, they're either saying there is absolutely no use for this fucking machine or else their soap doesn't actually kill 99.9% of bacteria! AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

 Fuck you Dettol. And that ladies and gentlemen, is what grinds my gears. :D